everyone's gone.

It's that time when everyone from college leaves and since I'm in standard pre-med classes I'm always the last one to leave. Seeing everyone leave is really sad, but what's completely heartbreaking is how much food I've eaten because of them leaving!
Everyone wants to "go out to eat for the last time" or "have a girl's sleepover with lots of junk food". I mean what the fuck?! I literally had to pass up on four slices of pizza and two ice cream runs. The real problem is that even if I pass all of that up and feel great about myself, they make me feel horrible. They always tease me when I don't engorge myself with eight slices of pizza or get mad at me when I don't dig into the communal pint of Ben and Jerry's. It's almost as if their jealous of my will power, but they're still my friends and I don't want them to be mad at me. Ughhhh, as if passing up the food wasn't hard enough.

With that said, I have bad news on what I ate yesterday...
Caesar Salad- 400 calories
1/2 Glass of wine- ??? calories
5 jello shots (sugar free)- 50 calories
Orange Chicken- 400 calories (whyyyyy!)



I always like to leave my posts on a good note (although I've only had one other one, haha.) so I'm changing the subject to my beautiful summer plans! I can't wait for boating, tanning, shopping, dancing, partying, and laughing with my friends. I love my friend's guest house, and I love when we all hang out in there. It's always a good night when we're all together. I'll have to work and take summer classes, but I don't even care. This summer will be beyond great! I'm nervous about being in a swimsuit in front of everyone but I will use my nerves as thinspiration. Who knows, maybe I'll work super hard and when we go boating I will look like Marisa Miller in a swimsuit.....



hahaha, only in my skinny dreams!

MOTIVATION

I decided to join this whole blogging scene, because I'm having trouble continuing on my own. I want to be thin... no I need to be thin. I've done a pretty good job on my own so far, but recently my friends have noticed my lack of eating and have said something. They are forcing me to eat, and I can't do it anymore. I need people who will help me keep up with not eating, so if you can do this please follow my blog. If you think I'm losing weight in an "unhealthy" way, don't bother following me because I don't give a fuck what you think.

So here's my first post-
Yesterday I ate so much. I felt fucking disgusting. I had all three meals because my friends made me. All three meals, do they even know how many calories that is?! I probably ate 2,500 calories with them!! Good thing I threw up 2 of the meals when they weren't paying attention, but honestly if I had not thrown it up I would have felt miserable. I mean, I even felt horrible holding that 1 meal in. Ughhhhh, I put in so much work this week. I only ate 400 calories each day this week and then this!

Today I have a better attitude though, because I can't dwell on yesterday. My plan is to start all over, and so far I haven't eaten anything today. So it's a start. I will just keep drinking fluids and everything will be fine. Today is a new day, a new day towards skinny dreams!